The Keyboard Warrior
Twilight bathed the canopy in darkness concealing the identity of the creature rustling in the branches above. “Fitch?” Deputy Karina hissed. She reached for her phone and almost turned on the flashlight when a large gray squirrel emerged from the shadows and scurried down the trunk. With a quick glance at the surroundings, the squirrel shifted into the silver-haired private investigator that is her partner.
“Are you certain of this?” Karina whispered.
“Positive. These kids aren’t exactly discreet, or bright.” Fitch answered.
“Anything good enough for a warrant?” She asked.
Fitch shook his head. “Nothing the judge will accept. Call it more of a squirrel sense.”
“I hate your squirrel senses.”
“Because they’re always right?” Fitch grinned.
“Because it gets me in trouble every damn time.” Karina mimed an elbow to his stomach. “You’re well aware of the Chief’s opinion of you.”
“Yours is the only opinion that matters.” Fitch brushed his fingertips over her cheek.
Karina batted his hand away. “Save that thought for later. Right now, we have a kid to rescue.”
“Right.” Fitch glanced at the house. “Though I wouldn’t be horribly upset if he stayed missing.”
“Fitch! I know you don’t like this Keyboard Warrior, but we can’t let vigilantism take hold. What if another Enzo comes through town? These kids could get themselves killed trying to stop a rogue shifter.”
He answered with a grunt.
“Anyways, any plan on how to get in?” Karina asked.
As if on cue, a car pulled up to the curb with Pizza Palace written on the topper.
Fitch’s eyes lit up. “I have an idea.”
Karina stabbed the button next to the door. It buzzed like an angry hornet’s nest. She adjusted her hold on the delivery bag containing two hot pizzas and one overheating squirrel and waited. This plan was stupid, the damn uniform didn’t even fit properly! She was one negative thought from aborting this crazy idea when the door opened to frame what could only be categorized as the typical high school Jock.
“Yo bro, the pizza’s here!” He called out. “Where’s the money?”
Someone responded in the background and the jock frowned. “Fine!” He opened the door and pointed to a small table by the entrance. “Put it here, I’ll be back with the cash.”
And just like that, she was alone. Karina schooled her reaction, extracted the pizza from the bag, and released her partner into the house.
Fitch watched from behind a container of protein powder while the three wannabe heroes destroyed their pizza in record time.
“You owe me for this.” The jock who answered the door spoke between bites.
“I think not. This whole thing was your idea. Without me, you’d have never hacked that asshole’s accounts.” The shorter one replied.
Jock grumbled but didn’t deny the claim.
“Hey guys,” the third teen interrupted. “How long are we keeping him locked up for? I mean, it was a lesson three days ago, now it’s kind of kidnapping.”
Huh. Guilt is good, this one will be easier to crack.
“Give it up Trev. I told you, we dump him in the woods tomorrow.” Jock replied.
“What if he dies out there?” Trev continued.
Jock slammed his fist on the table. “Then he won’t be around to harass my sister anymore! I read her diary, remember? She wants to kill herself because of this jerk’s asshole comments. He’s preying on young girls and I won’t stand for it!”
“I know, but… It just doesn’t feel like proper justice, is all.” Trev shrugged.
“Won’t he recognize us?” Hacker’s pizza hung mid-air, as if his entire appetite hinged on the answer to this question.
Jock glared at the hallway behind him. “With that stupid thing on his head? Not a chance.”
“Alright…” Hacker, his appetite restored, finished the slice and stood. “I need some air.”
Excellent. Karina can take care of this kid while Fitch did something about these two idiots.
Karina tucked the contrite teen into the back seat of her cruiser and shut the door. The porchlight flickered, her signal to move in. She found Fitch in the living room, a perfectly posed squirrel standing atop a pair of teens tied together with neon skipping ropes.
“I hope you didn’t damage them.” Karina admonished.
Her squirrel chirped in amusement.
“Whatever. Alright boys, where is he?”
“Where is who? And where’d that damn silver ninja go?” Jock searched the room for their attacker.
Karina hovered over them. “You know who. The Keyboard Warrior, Kevin Trevalent.”
“Never heard of him.” Jock growled. Fitch kicked his arm with a clawed paw. “Ow! What the hell? Why does the pizza lady have an attack squirrel?”
Karina smirked. “And I am not afraid to use him.”
Fitch took his cue and ran with it. Literally. He scurried up and down the two boys as if powered by a screeching super star, then skidded to stop nose to nose with the second kid. He looked about ready to cry as Fitch’s whiskers twitched against his cheek.
“He’s in the laundry room! Don’t give me rabies!” He whipped his head back to escape the squirrel and hit Jock’s skull with enough force to knock himself out.
“Dammit Trev!” Jock shouted.
Fitch patted the teen on the cheek and followed Karina, shifting once they were out of sight. “Folded like a clean towel.”
Karina chuckled and opened the hall door. It led into a small space containing a washer, dryer, and a terrified teen tied to a chair wearing a giant ninja turtle head. “Relax Kevin, we got you.” Karina lifted the mask off his shoulders.
His unfocused gaze settled on her. Sweat dripped down his hair and onto his face. “Thank God! I’m saved!”
“Not yet.” Fitch handed Karina a pocketknife to cut the bonds. “Your harassment victims are pressing charges, Mr. Keyboard Warrior. You’re under arrest.” Fitch erupted into hearty laughter as understanding dawned on Kevin’s features.
Oh, the Chief is going to love this one!
Greythorn's Nook 