A Bruh in Time
“Yoooo, check it out bruh!” Nate pointed at a contraption made from a large umbrella, a lawn chair, a busted trike, and a broom handle with a sign next to it that read Time Machine in bright red print.
“No way bruh!” Thad pointed at the doll zip-tied to the arm rest of the chair. “That thing’s cursed!”
“But what if it’s real bruh?” Nate took a puff of his joint and handed it to his friend. “Then I could go back in time and do your grandma.”
“What? No! That would make you my grandpa bruh.” Thad shook his head. “Just no.”
“Whatever, your loss bruh. I’d make an excellent grandpa.” Nate sauntered over to the time machine.
“Hey mister! Five dollars if you want to ride!” A child popped up in front of him and held out her hand. “Pay up.”
“Woah, chill tiny human.” He dug a bill out of his pocket.
The child stuffed the money into her purse and motioned for him to have a seat. “Lay down and look up.”
Always willing to lean his head back and relax, Nate did as he was told. The child made beeping sounds as she pushed the doll’s eye and the umbrella started spinning. Nate’s gaze locked on the underside of the nylon fabric. The sunlight bathed the pink material in shades of gold as it spun round and round. His thoughts kept time the umbrella’s rotations, and he closed his eyes.
“Hey, get out of my chair!” The screeching voice punctuated their words with a sharp jab to his side using the business end of a cane. Nate flailed his arms and knocked over the chair before spilling onto the sidewalk. “You deaf or something? I said get out!” The harpy continued.
Nate scrambled backwards until his back hit a wall, chin hanging against his chest. His mouth worked open and closed as he tried to clear the fog in his brain. Her chair? Where was the child? He scanned the area and found no child, only the grey-haired harpy woman glowering down at him. There was only one explanation for the sudden shift in age; the time travel chair worked!
“Bruuuuh!” Nate picked himself off the ground and nodded his head. “Excellent!”
The old lady waved her cane at him and mumbled her advice on where he could shove his bruh. He smiled and waved at the harpy woman. His ‘have a nice day’ was pre-empted as he crashed into an old man standing motionless on the sidewalk.
“Woah, sorry bruh!” Nate caught the old man before he fell. His face was shaped like a potato, a soft one whose skin hung from his jowls and forehead. A potato with blue eyes, just like Thad.
Wait. Exactly like Thad.
“Yoooooo! Bruh, that you?” Nate took in the sweatpants and stained Led Zepplin t-shirt, Thad’s favorite band. It had to be Old Thad! “Woah, future you is old!”
“Who are you?” Old Thad frowned.
Well, old people’s memories weren’t great, and he had disappeared for at least seventy years. “It’s me bruh, your best bud Nate!”
“Oh, ok good.” Old Thad’s voice sounded like an earthy potato that was half buried in dirt. “She’s after me. All I want is to see the jugglers again before she takes me away. I want to see the jugglers.”
“Bruh, I know them!” Nate beamed. “Come on, this way!” He followed the sidewalk up a path he was long familiar with, yet today everything seemed brand new. When did that store open? Did Miss Cherry ever retire? Is old man Putter still alive? They turned the corner and his jaw dropped once again. People were spilling from buildings as if someone pulled fire alarms all the way down the block, people wearing black fedora’s and black suits with their black briefcases in hand. He’s watched too much sci-fi not to see what’s going on – people in the future have been assimilated into the collective. There was no other explanation for the way they moved in unison; waiting at streetlights and walking in two orderly lines down the sidewalk.
“Bruh! People in the future are hard core lame!” They would need to be careful not to get assimilated themselves. Wait bruh, what if the jugglers were assimilated? He glanced over at Old Thad. Better not tell him, don’t want to break the old dude’s heart. “Onward bruh.”
It was difficult to find a path through the assimilated. They moved like robots and didn’t seem to notice any obstacles in their path. He flowed around them, careful not to touch so much as a single thread in case it alerted the queen to their presence.
“Have you seen the jugglers?” Old Thad’s rough voice asked one of the assimilated.
The business bruh turned his black sunglassed gaze on the old man and sneered. “Get out of my way geezer.”
Nate quickly interposed himself between the two and shuffled Old Thad out of the way. “Chill bruh, we are one.” This appeased business bruh, who continued on his way without a backwards glance.
“I just want to see the jugglers.” Old Thad whispered.
“Bruh, I’ll get you there.” Nate patted Old Thad on the shoulder.
But how to do that without getting assimilated themselves? No way did he want to spend the rest of his life doing the same things as everyone else without an original thought to himself. Nate decided that he would prevent this future from occurring if he were to ever get back to his time. Earth would be ready for the threat from space! For the time being, he had to get his Old Bruh to see the jugglers.
Yet the moment he turned his back, it happened again.
“Have you seen the jugglers?” Old Thad asked a woman in a black blazer and black pencil neck skirt. She adjusted her sunglasses to peer at him from above the rims and shook her head, then squinted and pulled out her phone.
“Bruh!” Nate pulled Old Thad away from the business lady. “She’s calling the queen; we have to get out of here!”
“Does the queen know where the jugglers are?” Old Thad’s voice shook in time with his hands.
“The queen would assimilate the jugglers and turn them into this.” Nate pointed at the multitudes of black suits surrounding them.
“Oh.” Old Thad stopped in his tracks. “Bruh.”
And there it was, the bruh. All the proof Nate ever needed that this was indeed his best friend Thad. He wrapped his arms around Old Thad and patted his back. “Let’s go find those jugglers my bruh.” He took his old friend’s arm and guided him through the sea of automated humans. Bruh, the collective must have fine-tuned their assimilation technique, not a single cyborg part was evident on any of these drones.
They rounded a corner and came face to face with a wondrous rainbow mural which tickled the imagination and inspired a smile from even the surliest of souls. A winged pig grazed below on heart-shaped flowers while a herd of deer ran up the arch of the rainbow leaving a trail of glitter in their wake. The moon and sun took their posts on either side of the wall, sharing their proverbial sky with a host of multicolored stars. Nate was glad the artwork survived the assimilation. He placed his hand in his pocket as he admired the artwork and pulled out a joint.
“Yo, bruh!” He displayed his find to Old Thad.
His old friend ignored him as he searched the area for the objects of his quest.
“They aren’t here yet my bruh.” Nate lit the joint. “Here, while we wait.”
Those old hands shook too much to hold the joint. Nate held it to Old Thad’s lips so he could take a puff. His old friend breathed deeply and blew out the smoke with an ease that spoke of frequent usage. Nate took a puff and held it out for his old friend once again.
“Bruh.” Old Thad let out his bruh in a long, drawn-out breath.
“Just what do you think you’re doing with my Papi?” A shriek surprised a yelp from Nate, which caused him to break out in a fit of giggles. Old Thad chuckled along in his old potato voice.
“Papi, what do you think you’re doing smoking that stuff?” A woman stood with her hands on her hips which made them both snicker. Bruh, this had to be the collective’s queen.
“I wanted to see the jugglers one last time.” Old Thad pointed towards the rainbow wall.
The queen’s face softened, and she shook her head. “They aren’t here Papi. I’m sorry, it’s time to go.” She reached for his hand.
Bruh, she was here to assimilate Old Thad into the collective! Nate stepped between them. “Woah, chill bruh. What’s the hurry? Let’s wait it out man.”
“First off, I’m not a bruh or a man. Secondly, I will not chill. We were supposed to leave two hours ago! Not only did Papi wander off to watch some ridiculous street show, but he gets kidnapped on the way there by a bum hippie! A stoned bum hippie at that!”
“You can use a puff bruh.” He held the joint up under her nose. “Great for stress.” He wondered if it would even work on the queen.
She slapped his hand and the joint went flying into the empty space between the buildings.
“Not cool dudette.” Nate followed the joint into the alley and noticed a familiar blue bag. Realization hit him.
They didn’t need to wait any longer for the jugglers, he was a juggler! Bruh, he completely forgot! Nate grabbed the bag and the joint before ambling out of the alley in time to see the queen lead Old Thad back towards the business collective.
“Hey, bruh!” Nate placed the joint between his lips, grabbed three balls and tossed them one at a time into the air.
Old Thad’s eyes lit up as the blue, red, and green balls arced skyward in Nates skillful hands. The largest smile Nate had ever witnessed spread on his old friend’s face. It was like watching a child open a long-awaited present on Christmas morning. The queen rolled her eyes but otherwise stopped dragging his Old Thad away.
“Hey bruh, toss me a few more!” Nate pointed at the bag with his chin.
Old Thad shuffled over to pick up the bag but stopped about halfway down and grunted. His old bones refused to cooperate. The queen sighed and handed her Papi the desired object. Old Thad removed the yellow ball and tossed it over. Nate caught it with the ease of long-time practice, as he did with the purple ball which followed. He kept up his awe-inspiring act a moment longer before catching the balls one at a time and placing them at his feet. He plucked the joint from his lips and bowed to his audience of two. Old Thad clapped in slow motion and even the queen cracked a small smile.
“Run bruh, I’ll distract the queen.” Nate whispered as he stepped in and gave Old Thad a hug.
“Bruh, I’m good. Thank you.” Was all the response he received. Then Old Thad, bright smile still in place on his soft potato face, followed the queen away from the rainbow mural and disappeared into the collective.
“I’ll miss you bruh.” Nate wiped away a tear and sat against the wall near the end of the rainbow, truly alone in this future. He took another puff and closed his eyes, his thoughts spinning in circles.
“Bruh! There you are!” The younger version of Thad kneeled before him. “I’ve been looking, like, everywhere for you!”
“Thad? Bruh? Is it really you?”
Thad nodded. “Bruh.”
“Bruh, I’m back!” Nate beamed.
Greythorn's Nook 